Sunday 20 May 2018

THE ART OF NON ATTACHMENT


So in the life of mine pre this one as Marilyn Monroe I had a mother who went insane from religious self judgement and the mother took the child away for it was not the old father's was her affair's child she put me in an orphanage then I was put into foster care.  I lived in foster care my whole life and hated all of them so in high school I had a new one each year.  Most of the families did it for money they had too many kids as it was and wanted another to help pay the bills only we cost something. That was when I was little.  Po sessions would go missing and if you had older siblings we wore their old clothing. Brothers would leer at me when I was developing a teen body and so did some of the fathers.  I would report them all to social services if they were abusive in any way and was removed usually to a new home or of they were unclean with unsuitable environment to raise children.  

Think about it what would your life be like if you had a new family each year and school with new teachers and friends?  I had straight A's I was a good student clean and considerate.  What I learned is you cannot get attached to anyone for too long or you loose them any way so I stayed friendly but let go easily later after crying my eyes out leaving several homes where I had made friends with siblings.  All my life this life I have the same trait if I leave a person or residence I never look back if I was not happy there.  I only remember the ones I liked. So I wondered about this my whole life because I don't keep in touch with school people from childhood most others did with one or two friends but people move on have families so I never found it worked for me. James Dean was the same lost his family lived with his aunt and uncle was in an orphanage as well dropped small bundles of cash at bums if he had enough for his bills only.  We did not cling to people or addresses we were free spirits and any clinging on my part usually ended in disaster.  So it is funny when there are drawn out teachings in modern new age about non attachment for people who tended to cling to possessions and people.  I gave clothes away to charity auctions I could not bear someone making a lot of money on my old clothing mostly and gave it for charity. I had nearly no jewels that life for Queen Alexandra had the finest I've seen the life before of dresses and jewels so I was not big on jewels not having the budget to buy the ones I was accustomed to so why bother?  Studio salaries were not exorbitant the are much better now we lived an upper barely upper class life with a mortgage and a couple of cars the studio paid my mortgage.  I was alright and had Eunice to pay for and a small flat in NY I had also to visit while studying there.  So when you travel a lot and move and have no life of attachment it is ironic to be so as a rich star.  I was born this life without any craving for fame.  I would ask myself, do I want to be famous in this life time?  Then I would say well if I'm not I can sit at a cafe no one bothers me only this did not happen all the time people would notice me chat me up tell me I looked like a model even asked if I was an exotic dancer during gym days when I was sitting in little shorts and was in good shape.  So it was not to be and the ET's made me famous built monuments with people from my writing all over cities in North America Saudi Dubai (Ishtar like construction) and Italy France and Spain also participated Portugal, Germany and maybe more I'm not sure from different lives of mine and this one they took things the Aryana one.  I did not care I had no attachment to any of it but thought it was wild and very enchanting.  I care about nothing as holding on to it so I sit relaxed to do business and because everyone cared too much fighting I was poor sitting poor the devil he'd visit me saying I'm busy with them.  Then he'd visit without them and watch me work on his breaks from it.  I wanted to put him on a beach somewhere to retire forever from all that nagging.  He  so old with a young face so am I guess if I was Inanna.  Odd friends we became. The other blue birds flying I call them the men blue birds they are like this the andromedans with. Never call them a flower they get furious it means female genitalia in andromedan no matter how pretty blue they are! In andromedan, 'flower of my eye to make love to you I desire' is also an expression for women only who are lovers or it is inappropriate conduct unbecoming towards a female friend.  I'm not attached to this at all re flowers topic their culture they have their modes of expression obviously it is good to communicate with them.  However they have one woman to every ten men so they are appreciated highly there.

Meanwhile I'm painting writing and teaching BME on video I finished mostly did not waste time waiting while they all debated when I can teach again and go to Hollywood this life the blond who reincarnated who is her Marilyn but new also so it will be very interesting and I still love comedy so nothing will be too seriously stuffy with me.   

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